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Why Anger Matters – Part 2

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash   Just FYI:  Anger is not bad.   Anger is a normal human reaction to any threat in the environment.  If your physical or psychological well-being is under attack, anger is one possible reaction.  And it’s okay to feel it,...

Why Anger Matters – Part 1

Photo by Krzysztof Kowalik on Unsplash Anger is a troubling emotion.  And it’s confusing when you hear psychotherapists and psychologists mistakenly describe anger as a secondary emotion – meaning, we feel something else first (usually fear) and then go to anger...

5 Steps to Stop Overreacting (and Learn to Respond)

Photo by Dingzeyu Li on Unsplash   What Do Reactions Look Like?   You’re in a fight with someone you care about.  You’re angry.  You feel justified in your anger because he/she is not listening to you.  You feel unheard and invalidated.  Before you know it,...

Identifying Emotions 101

Photo by Taylor Smith on Unsplash Inside Out We are emotional beings, and there is no getting past the fact that our emotions can control the way we show up in conversations, conflicts, and relationships in general.  And as we learned in The What and Why of Emotional...

The What and Why of Emotional Pain in Women and Girls

Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash What is emotional pain? Well, for one thing, it’s a lot more complicated than just physical pain.  It’s a kind of mental suffering that happens when you don’t pay attention to, and care for, your negative feelings.  It also only...

Editing Your Emotional Pain – Why Denial Never Works

As a therapist, I hear girls and women say things like “I don’t want to be like that” or “I don’t want to think that way” or “I don’t want to feel like this” whenever they tell me about a relationship conflict, a disappointment at work, or past trauma –...